Why Coffee Dates Are A Bad Idea (Explained)

Last Updated on December 11, 2021 by John Moretti

Is there such a concept as the perfect date? Yes, but coffee dates are not one of them. Coffee dates are a bad idea, and here’s why. 

Coffee dates are a bad idea because of location, timing, and a lack of privacy. Coffee is also the worst drink to consume on a date because of all the caffeine. A coffee date can cause a lot of confusion and leave your date wondering if it is a “real date” or not. 

Whether it’s a first date or a thirtieth date, a coffee date will always be a bad idea. Continue reading for the full scoop of why coffee dates are a bad idea. 

Why You’ll Say No Next Time Someone Asks You Out To Coffee

Would you like to grab a coffee? Sorry, but I would like to decline kindly, and here’s why.

This question is the beginning of a wrong date. Confusions arise, and the person being asked out will begin to wonder is it a date or a friendship/colleague meet-up? Am I worth only a mere coffee in the sight of my crush? Perhaps my crush is a cheapskate or stingy? 

If you have been on a date more than once in your lifetime, then you will understand how nerve-wracking dating can be. If you are new to the dating scene, you have not yet experienced the nerves of a first date. With all the stress and nerves, coffee is the worst option for a date! Caffeine can make you talk faster, it can make you reckless, and it can make your heart beat faster. 

coffee date

Dating is about accepting to know each other. A coffee date is a bad idea because there is not enough time to get into the deep and more intimate questions. Coffee is a morning drink, and unless you and your partner do not work or have a day off on the same day, then chances are you will be meeting up before work. Expect the most rushed date if you are meeting up before work. 

Meeting up after work isn’t any better! Perhaps one of you will run late at work, and then you will both have less time to communicate. It has been said that no one should drink coffee after 2 pm, while others say four to six hours before bedtime. Unless you like having sleepless nights, do not go on a coffee date after work. 

people at the coffee shop

A coffee date is 95% held at a coffee shop. Think of a coffee shop. The music is super chilled and relaxing music that is very easy to talk over. Do not be surprised when you can feel people watching the date and even eavesdropping. Some people might even join in your conversation if you are not careful! Location is everything when it comes to having the perfect date. 

Speaking of location, some coffee shops have tables where you have to share with other people. So, if all the separate tables are complete, you will have no choice but to share a table with random strangers. The chairs are also not the most comfortable at tables made to be shared. Your coffee date will become an uncomfortable group discussion! Your date might prefer chatting to another on the table then you! 

How To Kindly Reject A Coffee Date

how to kindly reject a coffee date

We’ve established why coffee dates are a bad idea, but here’s where the tricky part comes in, kindly rejecting the offer. There are a few steps to pursue when rejecting a coffee date. Keep in mind that your potential date might not know that coffee dates are a bad idea. It is an excellent idea in the head of your potential date, but fortunately, you understand that a coffee date truly is a bad idea. 

Step 1: Know What You Want 

Step one is the most crucial step to comprehend. We should all know what we want and what we are looking for and who we are before attempting the dating scene. Get to know yourself before you get to know anyone else.

Many people think that dating a person will help them discover who they are. Dating a person might help you discover what you don’t want, but it will never help you discover who you indeed are. You have to know your beliefs, morals, and values beforehand. 

Based on who you are and what you stand for, this will help you know what you want in the other half and what you are looking for in another half. Know your limits and what you can compromise, and what you cannot compromise. In this case, you already know one thing for sure, coffee dates are a big no! 

Step 2: A Guide To Saying No 

Always put yourself in the other person’s shoes and ask yourself if you were getting rejected, how would you feel? Always be kind when rejecting a person because it was even more difficult for them to ask you out than you to decline the offer. 

Whether it is reason one or reason two, always be honest in a polite way. If it is the reason one, tell that person, thank you for the offer, but you fancy someone else. However, if it does not work out with that other person, I would love to try it again. 

If it is the second reason, then be honest and tell them you are not a fan of coffee dates and reschedule for another type of date (perhaps dinner). The best part about declining a coffee date and rescheduling for a different kind of date is that your reason for not enjoying coffee dates becomes a conversation starter for the new date!


Location, timing, and privacy are all reasons why coffee dates are not a great idea. Anything with caffeine inside it should not be consumed on a date. Save your potential date from a mind of confusion and take your date out on an actual date.